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youdaman2012's Blog


Why Do ex's do this?

So at times I continue to be amazed at the foolishness a divorce causes especially when it affects my children.

This year for the first time since the divorce of 5 years my son at 13 years old told his mother that he would like to wake up with his dad on Christmas day. I was so excited to have him tell me that. You see I never forced the issue as it was his moms time every year with him. I also celebrate Ukrainian Christmas so no biggy in my world.It would be nice but no BIGGY.
So after my announcement on facebook a ton of people were cheering at the love of my son for his dad.
I was so excited I could hardly wait.

Then the ex wife refused to allow him to come over. Ok I was not completely socked but disappointed that she would not listen to our sons wishes.
I did not see him on Christmas day until 11:00pm when he called and said "dad I am coming over"
I was like a kid in a candy store filled with joy.

The along comes new years and for the last two years our schedule was such that I did not get to see him on New years eve. OK I went with what the schedule said.

Fast forward to January 4,2013 and I though great Ukrainian Christmas is here and I will get the same time as my ex wife did for the holidays. Much to my amazement that was NOT what she had in mind. You see she had affair and her new boyfriend is of the same heritage. She thought that my son wanted to go to his mothers house instead of being with his dad. She was adamant that she was going to pick him at 6:00pm regardless of what our son wanted once again. A few emails exchanged asking her to be fair. No way she said he is coming with me.

My son woke up on that Thursday and approached his mom once again to let her know he wanted to be with his dad and his family for their Christmas  She turned to him and says if you do that then I will cut you off all of our family functions. His reply was Go ahead and have fun with that.

Now it gets better she decided that she would call the police on me for harassment all the while all I was asking for was for her to be FAIR with equal time.

The phone ring s and the police are on the line wanting to talk to me. No problem I said. I explained the situation to them and all was good with them. There were no threats or anything illegal being done on my part. All I was doing was asking for my sons wishes to be heard. The last time I checked that's not a crime.

My son then recieved a text message from my ex saying I was mean and she had no choice but to call the police.My son replied "well mom he did nothing and was not arrested bye"

She then promised him she would show up to his hockey game on Saturday where I am a coach and part of the board for the league. Another text message to let our son know that she would not be there.

Bottom line is he is with me for this holiday.
Was I upset at all of this? Absolutely no doubt.
Did I do anything wrong? Absolutely not.

The issue will be my son rebelling against his mother which I will not condone or accept. he knows that clearly.

I took it stride as difficult as it was for me to contain my emotions and all worked out in the end. MY son is here with my on our Christmas.

To all the men out there. Stay strong and stand up for your children in a  positive manner. If I can do it certainly others can put the emotions in check for the benefit of their children.
To all the ex who make it hard on the other parent. WAKE up your children are the ones who are suffering not the ex spouse who you think are being hurt by your actions.

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Why Do ex's do this?, posted January 6th, 2013

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